Do you have ADHD? Are you a mom? Does one or more of your children have ADHD? I just want to give you a hug and say, 'You poor thing. I know exactly how you feel.' I know about the teachers sending notes home that your ADHD child didnt return a paper because you forgot to sign it. I know about missing important deadlines, like signing your ADHD child up for the Gifted and Talented program, because you forgot to check his backpack. I know about the non-ADHD child saying, 'Mom, you forgot to pack our lunches--AGAIN.'
I know. I know what its like to be an ADHD mom of an ADHD child. I know. And Im sorry you have to go through it.
But Im glad for your child, because he or she has the best possible combination of parenting traits--someone who loves him because he is, and someone who knows exactly what its like to be an ADHD kid.
As someone who knows what its like to raise an ADHD child while trying to remember to tie my own shoes before I walk out the door in the morning (or even to put them on--I once drove to the bus stop barefoot!), I can tell you, youre doing a good job.
How do I know? Two reasons. First, youre reading an article about ADHD instead of the latest fashion trends. Youre trying. Second, I know that people with ADHD are incredibly hard-working, bright and creative, not necessarily in that order. I know that we make excellent parents because were able to see whats really going on. And I know youre a great mom because of your ADHD and not in spite of it.
I want to tell you a story. Its short, and it has everything to do with being an ADHD mom of an ADHD child, in my case a son.
When Jack was about six, I took him to a counselor. She was chatting with him and he mentioned a movie hed just seen, Rug Rats All Growed Up. Samara asked my brilliant ADHD son 'How did the characters change when they were grown up?' Jack proceeded to tell her exactly how they went forward in time by turning a tape player into a time machine. Samara looked confused, but with my own ADHD, I followed every twist and turn of logic. I said, 'You wanted to know how they were different. What you asked was how they changed, and thats what hes telling you.' And of course it was. My ADHD brain understood his ADHD brain, where the counselor, though well-trained and very good at her job, just couldnt keep up with us.
That night in my bathtub I realized my role in life. As an ADHD mom of an ADHD son, my job is to serve as his liaison to the world, until hes learned enough about living with ADHD to be his own liaison. And the way hell learn about the world through ADHD-tinted glasses is by my tutelage.
So give yourself a break. No, he may not return his report card the next day, because you put it in the refrigerator instead of his backpack. She may have to borrow lunch money from the office--every other day. But youre the mom, and youre doing a great job. Pat yourself on the back if they have on two of their own shoes that match. ADHD is no picnic, for parents or kids. Youve got a double headache. I wont tell you to make lemons out of lemonade, but I will tell you, its okay. It will all be okay.
Angie Dixon is a writer and ADHD mom of an ADHD son, Jack. For a free report on helping your ADHD son, see Angies site 'Thats My Son!' at http://www.Raising-the-ADHD-boy.com.
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